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06:25 pm: 12:01, Not Quite
Each year for the past ten years has seemed like a different chapter with a repetative theme. I feel like I'm trying different things, but it's really just the same thing I've been doing wrapped in a different package. I need to actually do something different now! I just can't keep struggling so hard like this with little to no reward. It isn't worth it and it's exhausting. I feel like I'll end up killing myself, if I continue doing the same thing over and over, it will lead to my death. That may be a tad over-dramatic, but I certainly don't feel like myself. I feel like I part of my soul is dying or atrophying. If I don't nurture this part of me, it will slough off. I'm going mad, and I need to get a hold of myself. My patience is vast but finite, and is constantly being tested. I'm just about out of give-a-fuck, and that's not like me. I need to hurry up and figure my mess out, and get a move on towards my future. Currently, it looks quite bleak. I'm just so tired.

Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
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