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September 15th, 2010
Excising the Excess
I hold tightly on to the past, and I don't know why! Maybe it's a sense of longing for the happiness I once had. Maybe it's something more. I'm sure it's much more complex, but I'm not in the mood to psycho-analyze myself today. Well, except to say that I think my major problem is that I keep reaching towards the past and not so much striving for an even better future. As such, I have begun a lengthy process of consolidation. I did some work on this years ago, but never did anything more. So, in an effort to get my mess together, I'm getting rid of a bunch of old toys and nick-knacks. A lot of it will be trashed, but I do plan to try to sell items of some kind of worth to others. Still, I have to be selective. My life is full of concrete truths and metaphors. So, I hope that by ridding myself of unnecessary clutter it will reflect into other aspects of myself. I mean, isn't about time I grew up just a little more?
July 29th, 2010
I should type a long journal entry some time. It's past due, or rather, about due. More than just the need to make up for lost thoughts I mean to document and never got around to, I want
to ramble on for about fifteen or so miles. For now, the world continues to unwittingly show me what lies behind the mask.
June 22nd, 2010
Nothing lasts, and seasons change. It's just a matter of having the patience for it all. That's something I've been working on, but I'm not sure how well it's going. Because lately, it seems that nothing changes and seasons last too long. It hurts to know that people are making things more difficult than they have to be. It hurts more, when it's someone you know. I'm just so exhausted. And I don't have time for this.
April 2nd, 2010
Cancer Horoscope for March 25, 2010
Two things I haven't done in a while are keep up with my Free Will Astrology horoscopes on a regular basis and, which has been an even longer time, posted my horoscope as a journal entry. Well, this one is of note:
Sci-fi author Neil Gaiman sometimes invites his readers to get involved in his creative process. While working on the story "Metamorpho," for example, he Twittered, "Trying to decide if broccoli is funnier than kohlrabi in a list of vegetables." When a number of fans suggested "rutabaga" instead, he took their suggestion. (Thanks to The New Yorker for that report.) I'd like to borrow Gaiman's approach, as you're entering a phase of your astrological cycle when you'll have maximum power to shape your own destiny. So here's my question: What accomplishment would you like your horoscope to say you will complete by May 15? Email me at Truthrooster@gmail.com.
I'll finish with two notes about rutabaga. First, rutabaga is always
funny! And second, using it in a story is a subtle homage to Garrison Keillor. Right on!
March 15th, 2010
The Effect of Fear!
After reading an entry about Vagrant Story (a PS1 RPG I never played, but want to) I started thinking about the really good games I own and haven't finished. One of which is Fear Effect. This was one of the early cell-shaded video games, and it was awesome! Nevermind that the protagonist isn't as much of a hero as a merc. The main protagonist is female, possibly a lesbian (I never played Retro Helix, but I've heard!) and handles dual uzis like a pro. Not only that, but she's not the only character you get to control. Throughout the game you can play as the whole team, one member at a time. This game was so much fun (albeit difficult in parts) that only a music video could best summarize it:
Yin Is Yang
I need to redirect my energy. I'm tired of trying so hard in a particular area only to be disappointed and/or frustrated. If I spent the same energy focusing on what I really need to accomplish, I'd be much more content. All these plans falling through must be the Universe telling me that I've been wasting my time. I've got to get on track and start moving forward! This isn't so much the "same old shit, different day" cliche, but more of a "same old shit, different package" metaphor. You can paint it gold, but it's still a useless antique. I mean what good are my goals, if I do nothing to achieve them? I can talk and write about them all I want. But if I have nothing to show for it, then I have nothing to back my words up and I end up like the people I despise; full of shit or hot air. I know I'm not an empty person. I just need to prove it.
March 10th, 2010
I Can't See Through You!
I Wish I Were On Risa!
Mysterious missing journal entries aside, things are getting better. (I don't really miss the entries, anyway.) I live in interesting times. It's been a rather strange week. I met someone new, had a friendship on the brink of shattering, and then everything came full circle. Hopefully, the friendship keeps changing for the better... It needs to! The new blossom wilted quickly. There wasn't a good mix to fertilize the bud, whatever it was. I was
able to confirm some things about myself. To keep it general, I've really changed over the years. I'm more aware, if not completely, than I was before. I really need to pay more attention to my intuition. The voice is becoming more prominent, though.
I have too many thoughts to articulate them all [at once]. I'll just say that I'm going to make more of an effort to fully experience and enjoy right now, right now. Feel free to join me.